God I’ve been shit at this blogging lark this year.
I’m still managing my OCD really , really well. I think what’s helped is being approved foster carers for the last 20 mths and having the same two siblings during that time.
Focusing on others who have far worse problems than yourself , especially children, has an uncanny knack of reducing your own anxieties and putting everything into perspective . Well , it certainly works for me!
I’ve been more open , more regularly about my condition. I’m 48 in November and in that lovely middle aged zone of not giving a fuck what anyone thinks anymore, so if the topic of mental health crops up, I’m in like Flynn and go into full confessional mode. I even came out on FaceBook earlier this year so go me!
But before I get too cocky knickers I’ve still had a couple of episodes so to speak. Primarily these have occurred at night time just before bed, particularly if I’m the last up and need to check and lock up the house. That responsibility is unbearable, especially at that time of night when reality is distorted by the darkness and quiet. It’s always been the most difficult part of the day for me.
It’s been ages since my last true post. So here’s a bit of a snapshot of the last few months.
The biggest change is that my wife and I are now approved as Foster Carers. We got final approval just before Christmas and our first ‘new guests’ came to us in early February. A 2 and 4 year old brother and sister sibling group. Add this to a son at Uni, a son in year 11 preparing for his final exams and a soon to be 11 year old son who goes to High School in September, and you can probably imagine how busy it’s been! Lol.
My wife continues to work full time whilst I’ve had a break from my ‘day job’ and take the lead on it. For the record as I type this on my phone the little boy of 2 is jumping up and down on my belly!
Prior to Christmas I had a little wobble and felt more anxious about things than I had done for a long time. But what with the imminent changes to our lives I’ve put that down to natural emotions rather than OCD ones.
It’s hard for me to differentiate sometimes. I’ve lived with OCD and anxiety that long , to me it is normal to feel and act in a particular manner. So when I have normal worries, whatever normal is, it’s kind of hard not to attribute it to that condition.
Anyway I do know one thing, since we’ve been fostering, I’ve not had any OCD tendencies whatsoever, so focused on the wellbeing of the two kiddies and my own brood has left little time to dwell on things. Plus there’s nothing like hearing the back story of a child’s upbringing to put your own life and anxieties into perspective.