Anxiety, Awareness, Compulsions, depression, Depresssion, intrusive thoughts, Life, Mental Health, mental illness, Obsessions, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, OCD, Rituals, self-help, Thought for the Week, Time to Talk, Well-Being
God I’ve been shit at this blogging lark this year.
I’m still managing my OCD really , really well. I think what’s helped is being approved foster carers for the last 20 mths and having the same two siblings during that time.
Focusing on others who have far worse problems than yourself , especially children, has an uncanny knack of reducing your own anxieties and putting everything into perspective . Well , it certainly works for me!
I’ve been more open , more regularly about my condition. I’m 48 in November and in that lovely middle aged zone of not giving a fuck what anyone thinks anymore, so if the topic of mental health crops up, I’m in like Flynn and go into full confessional mode. I even came out on FaceBook earlier this year so go me!
But before I get too cocky knickers I’ve still had a couple of episodes so to speak. Primarily these have occurred at night time just before bed, particularly if I’m the last up and need to check and lock up the house. That responsibility is unbearable, especially at that time of night when reality is distorted by the darkness and quiet. It’s always been the most difficult part of the day for me.
I’ve been ill with flu twice this month and when you add to that the blip on my emotional well-being I commented on in my last post……well let’s just say I’ve been feeling prone to feeling sorry for myself a little!
But, when I’ve been sat there with my bottom lip lowering by the second, I’ve given my head a bloody great big wobble and reminded myself how lucky and loved I am.
I work in the field of residential care with young people who have been classified as having emotional and behavioural difficulties. Their back stories range from experience of gang rape, sexual exploitation, drugs, drink, neglect and both physical and emotional abuse. The oldest child is 16 and the youngest is 13 and you can imagine the levels of post traumatic stress disorder these poor young souls are being helped with.
So when I’ve felt a little sorry for myself I’ve just reminded myself of these amazing young people who I work with virtually every day, they are the bravest, strongest, most resilient and loving young people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. This month is horrendous for them as is the two months leading up to it with constant reminders from the advertisers ramming it down their throats that the perfect family Christmas involves the perfect family sitting around a table, with the perfect turkey in the middle and with the perfect tree in the corner!
Christmas is a difficult time for many highlighting loneliness, poverty and mental health issues are magnified ten fold, so cheers Mr Smart Arsed arsehole in your posh office in London, New York or Berlin fricking reminding them of the fact since bloody 1st October!
I started work with young children in residential care back in 2010 after years of being suited and booted in various sales and finance type roles which I absolutely hated. This job and the many, many kids I have worked with so far are as instrumental in my recovery from my own issues as any therapy, pill or Doctor were.
These young people gave me perspective and showed me how blessed I truly was in life with my family and life in general. My life experiences have helped me truly understand and listen to the real problems these amazing kids have been through and when we discuss various topics they truly believe I have been through stuff and know that the care and hugs are genuine. I help them in my professional capacity but you can’t quantify the help these kids have given me.
Everything I have been through matters, it can be used to tell my story to help others, change my career for the better, write a blog, write an e-Book. Believe in yourselves people, you are not alone, we are out there to talk, email, blog etc.
Have the best Christmas you can, thank you for taking the time to read everything I’ve posted, I hope it helps, if I can be of help over the Christmas period just ask, you’re not alone, I and many others care. Don’t be too proud to ask. Merry Christmas
I’ve been living in a cozy little bubble for months now where my OCD has been kept at bay and it’s component parts compartmentalised into nice neat little virtual boxes in my head. Writing about it in this blog, putting out a small ebook about it , it was almost as if I actually had come so much to terms with it that I was getting to the point where I was forgetting I actually had it! Well, the little bastard has come back with a vengeance and given me a right good punch on the nose this month to remind me it’s gone no fucking where! I’ve struggled like mad and I just don’t know why or what the trigger was. I’ve been ill, I’ve been tired , and work has been emotional with some of the young people I deal with. Maybe all those 3 things together were enough to break through the armour. You just can’t win with this illness, it will keep chipping away until the walls of your defences crack. You will not beat me though!